My Heart
by AmaiTsumi
Summary: I love you deeply, and with all my heart. Translation of a pixiv fic.
1. Chapter 1

Hi all!

Bringing to you a short story by author ぱるるぅた (member ID 5705785) from pixiv.

This one's gonna be angsty, so buckle up for the ride!

**Chapter warning:** Hard-core angst. Slightly OOC.

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**My heart ~Chapter 1~**

"I want to kiss you."

Kid's request plunged deep into Law's heart, settling at the bottom like a heavy weight.

Too embarrassed to nod assent, much less give a verbal reply, the dark-haired man remained silent. Kid waited, a look of masked sorrow on his face.

"Don't look at me like that," Law finally managed to whisper.

_'Seeing you like this makes me upset,'_ he wanted to add, but didn't. Instead, he gave Kid a small bitter smile.

"It's ok if you don't want to," Kid offered.

"No, that's not it," Law quickly interjected, afraid of giving Kid the wrong idea. Reaching up, he cupped the redhead's face gently with both hands. "It's just... are you sure?"

"Yes," Kid replied without a trace of hesitation.

_'But I'm a man...'_ Law wanted to insist. He'd long known that they held mutual feelings for each other, and though the fact made him slightly wary, he did not feel that it was wrong in any way. They weren't hurting anyone, and he somehow knew that he would never come to regret this.

Not that Law had much time to regret anything. His heart had always been weak, and the doctors had told him that he didn't have much longer to live. Therefore, Law was determined not to let any trace of regret taint his short life.

So, he had allowed himself to fall in love.

In this dark, lonely hospital.

Law knew that this was probably his last stay here; the chance of him leaving this place alive was almost an impossibility.

That was why, this love could not go wrong.

This, the greatest love Law would ever have in his life.

He would never get the chance to go on dates with Kid, never get to kiss him, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, nor make love to him. Yet he knew they were profoundly connected deeply in their hearts, as sure as he was of the fact that he was alive and breathing.

Alive as he only felt when Kid was with him. It made his heart hurt in a manner that he knew was not due to his sickness.

Slowly, Kid's lips descended upon his own.

It was Law's first kiss.

He wouldn't call it perfect, and they were both trembling slightly.

But...

Even so...

"I'm just so happy now..." Kid whispered with a smile as he pulled away.

Law blinked back the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, not even surprised that Kid had managed to say what was on his own mind.

"You're just exaggerating," Law retorted. Embarrassment and joy vied for dominance in his heart. Tears clung to his lashes, threatening to fall as he fought to reign in the scattered emotions.

"No. I've never been happier in my life."

Kid's affirmation was the final straw, and Law finally allowed the tears to flow.

"I love you, Trafalgar. I really do."

_'Please don't die.'_

The words were taboo, and had never been spoken. But the silent plea hung in the air between them, pressing painfully down on Law. His heart clenched reflexively in pain.

"But Eustass-ya is going away, right?"

A few days prior, a donor had appeared, volunteering to donate a healthy heart to Law.

However, the dark-haired man had rejected the offer. The operation had a high chance of success, he knew, and if he didn't accept the heart, it would go to waste, voiding all the good intentions of the donor.

But Law didn't want to live anymore.

"Don't worry, I'll be back really soon. When I'm back, I'll stay with you forever," Kid assured his trembling lover.

Yes, Kid would be discharged soon, and he would be going away to a faraway place with a name Law had never heard of. The prospect haunted him, robbing him of even the will to search out where exactly Kid's destination was.

Because Law couldn't imagine a life without Kid. If he couldn't be with the redhead, there was no point in living in this world.

"Alright? So come on, don't sulk. There's hope as long as you're alive," Kid coaxed. "There's still lots of things you wanna do, right?"

_'There are lots of things I wanna do, but I wanna do them all with you.'_

Law averted his eyes, unable to bring himself to speak. Seeing this, Kid patted his hand, and with a "Gimme a sec", he rolled his wheelchair out of Law's hospital room.

A few moments, he returned, a letter tucked into the blankets on his lap. He handed it to Law, and the smaller man noted the neat letters written on the envelope.

'Dear Trafalgar Law.'

"Open it when you get better," Kid told him.

"No, I wanna read it now."

"Then there's no point, silly. If you wanna read it, then you have to get better."

Law lowered his head, silent. Seeing this, Kid smiled.

"Hey, Trafalgar. Promise me something?"

Law had always loved Kid's smile. It was like the Sun, warm, strong, gentle, and sometimes burning. The sight always left Law speechless in its brilliance.

"Go through the operation. Make a recovery, and get out of this hospital. Then, come to meet me."

Law's eyes widened.

"Can I...?"

"Of course."

"Really?"

"Yes, definitely."

_'So promise me. That we'll surely meet again.'_

"I'll be looking forward to your visit," Kid said, planting a soft kiss on Law's cheek.

"Then you'll stay with me forever?"

"Yes, forever."

"And you won't go away again?"

"No. I'll stay with you until you die."

_'So promise me.'_

"Alright... I'll go through the operation..."

Kid's entire face lit up upon hearing Law's decision, as he drew the smaller man into a tight embrace.

"I won't be here on your operation day, but I'll be praying for its success."

Law sank into Kid's arms and clung onto the other man.

"But Eustass-ya... I'm scared..."

The fear that held Law in its grip tightened around the dark-haired man.

"What if I die here, tonight...? What if I never wake up tomorrow...? What if the operation fails?"

_'What if I die without even realizing it? What if it just comes for me, and I don't even know it?'_

"I'm just so scared... What should I do...? I don't know what to do..."

He couldn't stop his tears as they trailed down his cheeks and soaked into the redhead's hospital gown.

"It's alright, the operation will succeed. I won't let it fail."

Law knew Kid's groundless reassurance was absurd, but it still comforted him. Law felt a thread of hope slowly weave through his heart. Wiping his tears away, he gave Kid a small smile.

"Don't be silly... You're not the doctor performing the operation..."

"Well, that's true," Kid laughed.

Law would never truly understand this man. But he loved him all the same.

_'I love you, Eustass-ya. I love you.'_

"Eustass-ya,"

_'Thank you. Thank you for stopping my tears. Thank you for listening to me.'_

Kid smirked, as if Law had actually spoken these words out loud. "Well, what did you expect from the hunk you've totally fallen for?"

"You're too egoistical. Minus 10 brownie points."

"Haha, you're always so strict."

The two shared a laugh, then another gentle kiss.

"OK, it's late. I should be getting back to my room."

"Alright. Eustass-ya, I'm sorry I won't be able to send you off tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it."

Kid rolled his wheelchair around and headed for the door. Stopping at the entrance, he turned to look at Law again.

"Trafalgar, smile for me."

"I'm smiling."

"No. Smile from your heart. Smile for me."

Kid pulled a funny face, and Law couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.

Hearing this, Kid smiled, satisfied.

"There we go. You should smile more, you don't do that often enough. I love your smile, Trafalgar, so make sure you always do so."

With that, Kid rolled himself out of the room.

The next morning, Kid was discharged from the hospital. Law knew he should be happy for the other man, yet all he felt was loneliness, pain, and a deep longing.

Kid's parting words laid forgotten in a corner of his mind, as Law sobbed silently at his loss.

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Please leave a review or comment if you can. All of them will be translated and presented to the original author. (・ω・*)


	2. Chapter 2

Hey friends!

Here's the second half of the fic. Get your tissues ready!

**Chapter warning:** Hard-core angst. Slightly OOC.

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**My heart ~Chapter 2~**

It came a week later, news that Law's donor had passed on.

The donated heart was already on its way to the hospital, the staff hastily prepping the operating theatre. There was no time to lose; the heart could die at any moment.

Before Law even had any time to prepare himself, before he had the chance to feel afraid, he was whisked away, and soon placed under the spell of anesthesia.

The operation was a success, but the doctors remained anxious, refusing to celebrate until Law regained consciousness. The possibility of Law's body rejecting the heart was slim, but still possible. Afterall, his entire life now hung on this borrowed heart.

When Law awoke, the fact that he was alive stunned him, and he allowed himself to cry, just a little.

Making speedy progress with his recovery, he was soon scheduled to be discharged.

Remembering the letter Kid had given to him, Law retrieved it from his bedside.

_'Is it time to read it yet?'_

Much as he wanted to do so, Law decided to wait until he was discharged.

Upon his discharge, he made his way home to the house he used to live in with his parents. That night, they threw a small party with a few close friends, a hearty meal to celebrate his return.

The next day, Law decided to finally open the letter. Picking up a paper knife with a trembling hand, he slid it under the sealed flap.

The heart -he still couldn't bring himself to call it his own-, beat hard in his ribcage, as if sharing in his anxiety. Since the operation, it had grown to be a part of him, giving him warmth and helping him to forget that it had once belonged to someone else.

A tiny piece of notepaper slipped out of the envelope. It was definitely not what he had been expecting, but it trumped anything he could have imagined. The heart leapt with joy in his heart.

An address was written on the paper. It must be where Kid was now staying.

Law was not familiar with the city listed, but a quick search showed that it was a mere train ride away from his home. He would have to make several transfers, but it was a place he could reach within a day's travel.

The location seemed physically far away, but now that he had a destination, Law felt so close to Kid.

He immediately made arrangements with a travel company. He had never travelled anywhere before, and thoughts of the impending journey made the heart in his chest race.

Gingerly, he told his parents of his plans, fearful that they would refuse him, tell him it was dangerous for him to go alone. However, they gave him their full support, encouraging him to take the journey once he was strong enough to do so.

That day on, Law resolved to get better. He never skipped another meal, and even picked up some simple exercises to build up his strength.

A month passed, then another... Before he knew it, half a year had gone by.

In that time, the heart had never given him any trouble; it gave Law's body all the support he needed.

Finally, he was ready for the journey. Packing his bags, he boarded the train bound for his destination.

Soon, he would be able to see Kid.

Joy and anticipation flooded the heart, and Law experienced a nostalgic pang in his chest.

After a long journey, Law finally reached his destination. Stepping out of the train station, he looked around and checked his map once more. Yes, he was in the right place, though he hadn't expected to find himself in the quiet countryside. There were few people on the street, and no cars nor buildings in the near vicinity. The horizon was dotted with what looked like lone farm houses, surrounded by miles and miles of croplands.

Law returned to the ticket gate to ask for directions to Kid's address. The station guard took a look at the address, then pointed at a bus stop a few steps from the station gate, instructing Law to ask the bus driver for more detailed directions.

Making his away to the deserted bus stop, Law examined the bus schedule to find that one would be arriving soon. There were no benches around, and Law had to stand as he waited for the bus which arrived ten minutes behind schedule.

The vehicle that rumbled up to the stop was old and tiny, with rickety handles and dried grass and mud covering the floor. Miraculously, it had an electronic device that allowed Law to use his transport pass.

Making his way to the driver, Law showed the man Kid's address, and received hearty advice on where to disembark, as well as a thoughtful request for him to take a seat, since the journey would take some time. Such a warm reception could only come from those living in the countryside.

_'So this is where Kid lives; in a nice, quiet village far from the city.'_

Law picked a seat at the back of the bus, gazing out the window at the passing scenery. He saw the occasional person on the road, or in one of the farm houses, but the area seemed mostly deserted. Even fewer people boarded the bus, allowing it to speed through stops where noone was waiting. Even so, Law's journey took well over an hour.

Finally alighting at his stop, Law started to walk down the road. There were no signs or directions, but it was the only path leading to the lone building a short distance away. By this time, Law was eager to talk to someone, even if it was to ask for directions to the address he sought.

So as not to tire his body out, Law measured his pace, taking almost twenty minutes to reach the building. Up close, it was quite a large house, with stately fittings that Law hadn't been able to spot from the bus stop. Belatedly, he also noticed how the road he had travelled upon was smooth, leading up to this house built on the top of a hill crest. Climbing several steps to reach the entrance, Law saw the ocean in the distance, and briefly wondered how beautiful the view must be from the upper floor of the two-storeyed building.

_'Must be some rich folks with lots of land...'_ Law mused as he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

It was his first time visiting a stranger's house, and the heart pounded in his chest.

A woman who looked about his mother's age answered the door, seemingly shocked to find Law standing there. Plucking up his courage, Law spoke.

"Erm... I'm looking for this place..."

The woman took a look at the slip of paper Kid had given to Law, before gasping and stumbling backwards.

Law's eyes widened as the heart inside him skipped a beat, and a sense of foreboding swept through him.

The woman cleared her throat, before looking up at Law with fear in her eyes.

"Kid told me you would come."

The ominous feeling in Law's chest disappeared upon hearing Kid's name. Could this be the place he was looking for? Was this really Kid's home? Would he be seeing Kid any moment now?

"Trafalgar Law-kun, right? Come in."

This woman must be Kid's mother. Yes, the resemblance was definitely there, now that Law allowed himself a good look at her.

She led Law to a room near the back to the house, and sat him down at a sofa before a low table. Law's body welcomed the relief; he was not used to travelling, afterall.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, please."

The woman brought in a tray and set a cup of coffee before him, inviting him to flavour it with the sugar and milk available. Then, with a "I'll be back", she hurried out of the room.

Law was left alone, fidgeting in his seat in this strange house, so silent that he could hear the rustling leaves of the trees outside the window as the breeze stirred through them.

Soon, an aged man came through the door, greeting Law as he made his way over.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. My wife told me to give this to you."

With that, the man handed a letter to Law. He was much older than the woman, but if this was really her husband, then that would make him Kid's father.

"Take your time to read it. The last bus for the day has already left, so you are welcome to stay the night."

Law glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. He realized with a guilty start that it was already much later in the day than he'd thought.

"Not many buses and trains come through this place anyway, so no need to stand on ceremony."

"Sorry... And thank you..."

Law chided himself on his mistake. The fact that this was his first time travelling was painfully obvious, but the man graciously accepted his apologies with a kind smile. It put Law at ease, knowing that he was amongst good people.

"I'll just leave now. Take as much time as you need."

So saying, the man left the room, leaving Law alone.

The letter...

On the front of the envelope was written 'Dear Trafalgar Law', and at the back, 'From Eustass Kid'...

The heart in Law's chest pounded. Why would Kid leave him a letter like this?

Pushing all thoughts from his mind, he opened the envelope.

Slowly, tenderly, he took out the letter folded within.

_'To Trafalgar_

_Congrats on being discharged. It seems like you've managed to make a full recovery. I'm glad for you. I wish I could have been there during your operation and when you were discharged to share this joy with you. But first, let me apologize. I'm not in this house.'_

At this, Law's tears spilled down his cheeks. He had suspected that much, but had refused to pursue the thought.

_'I'm also no longer in this world.'_

Law fought back the cries bubbling in his throat. The heart in his chest burned with searing pain.

_'I know I should've told you this earlier, but I also know that you would have lost your will to live as soon as you found out. But now that you're here, I feel that I can finally tell you. I am your donor. I am now living inside you. So don't die. You have to live on.'_

It couldn't be real. Kid couldn't be dead. His heart couldn't be the one beating inside Law right now. He had said himself that his illness was nothing to worry about. That it was merely a bad case of food poisoning. And didn't he tell Law that once he recovered, he would return to his home?

So this couldn't be true. It must be some sort of cruel joke.

But Kid would never play such a prank...

_'The last few months I spent with you were the happiest in my life. Thank you. And lastly, I love you Law. So let me bid you a last goodbye. Don't let any sickness or person get you down anymore. Be happy._

_from Kid.'_

Unable to hold back his sobs, Law finally allowed himself to cry. The heart -Kid's heart- pounded painfully in his chest.

The reality that Kid was no longer in this world pierced deep into his soul and left him gasping for breath.

Hearing his cries, the door opened and Kid's parents entered the room.

Law tried his best to regain control, but his sorrow continued to pour forth in spite of his best efforts. There was nothing he could do, aside from choking up stuttering apologies.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"It's not your fault. Please don't think that Kid killed himself to save you."

Belatedly, Law learned the full truth. Kid had been suffering from an incurable disease. By the time they found out, it was already too late to save him. Even so, the redhead had continued to smile despite the pain that constantly plagued him. He also grew more pensive, probably spending his last days thinking about the meaning of his life.

When he learned that his heart was still healthy enough to be donated, he was overjoyed, and immediately signed up to become Law's donor. Unable to save himself, he could at least save the one he loved.

"So... Kid's no longer... alive... is he?"

Deep inside, Law already knew the answer, but he needed the confirmation from someone else. He could not think; his mind was clogged up with too many thoughts and emotions.

Kid's parents nodded, and Law surrendered to the grief as it took over his consciousness.

From that point on, he couldn't remember anything that happened. The next thing he recalled was waking up on a bed -Kid's bed- the next morning.

Making his way to the living room on the ground floor, he found Kid's parents. After profuse apologies from the young man, the trio shared breakfast. Law learned that Kid's family had actually moved into the city a few years ago, in order to seek treatment for their son's illness, but after Kid's death, they had decided to move back to their old home.

After breakfast, Law plucked up his courage and asked after the location of Kid's grave. When the couple offered to escort him there, he politely declined, stating that he wished to visit Kid alone.

Kid's resting place was some distance away from the house, so Law made plans to head home right after the visit. As the couple sent him off at their front door, Kid's mother timidly voiced a request.

"It's ok if you're not comfortable with it, but..."

"What is it?" Law asked, feeling unease stirring in his belly.

"Can I embrace you one last time? As my son?"

Her words blew away all the anxiety inside Law. Yes, to his parents, Kid was still alive and in this world. He was just living through someone else's body.

"Yes."

Law nervously held out his arms, and the couple drew him into a warm embrace. Law felt his body tremble; they were all trembling. He felt so much loneliness, so much pain, so much sorrow.

"Welcome home, Kid."

And also, so much warmth.

"I'm home," Law managed to choke out amidst muffled sobs.

He finally understood why Kid had left him that letter. Why he didn't tell him outright how he was Law's donor. Kid had wanted to come home, back to his parents.

Even if only a part of him returned. Even if it wasn't he himself who made the journey.

With tears in their eyes, the couple released Law from their embrace.

"Please come back again."

Law couldn't bring himself to speak, as he nodded and waved goodbye.

Walking to the bus stop, he wiped away his tears and boarded the bus to his next destination. Half an hour later, Law arrived at his stop. Checking the schedule for the timing of the next bus, he then started up the stone path leading to the top of a grassy knoll where the cemetery stood.

Several trees grew around the site, shading it from most of the sun's glare. A breeze rustled through the leaves, giving the scene a tranquil atmosphere.

At the top of the path, Law stopped to catch his breath; his body was still not used to such rigorous exercise. He briefly regretted not attending more rehabilitation sessions.

Kid's heart beat hard in his chest, and Law found himself whispering soothing words of comfort to calm it down.

Passing by numerous graves, Law made his way to the very back of the cemetery. Kid's parents had told him where to look, but with so many graves around, Law had some difficulty pinpointing the exact location.

However, he walked on calmly. As his steps brought him nearer and nearer, Kid's heart began to race once again. The number of graves around him grew fewer the deeper he ventured. For a moment, a slight pang of anxiety simmered inside him.

Then, at the very back, he came upon a single grave, standing alone. Law felt the anxiety drift away as he caught sight of the name carved into the stone.

'EUSTASS KID'

It was a quiet spot. Kid rested here, undisturbed; at peace. Beyond the grave, Law could see the ocean. Kid's gravestone seemed like a lone ship, sailing on the bright waters in the backdrop.

Law's knees buckled and he collapsed hard upon the earth. He expected himself to cry, yet no tears came.

_'Ah... It's true, then... He's no longer here...'_

Kid no longer existed, not anywhere in this world.

Sitting quietly, Law thought back to all the days he had spent with Kid, all the words the redhead spoke to him, all his habits and quirks and behaviours. One by one, he framed each of them into a loving memory.

That would be what Kid wanted; for him to live on. Kid had smiled, even during their last moments together, when he was probably feeling so much pain and fear. He must have endured so much more than Law himself, hearing the ominous ticking of the clock that counted down to the last moments of his life.

Even so, he had smiled, making light of his own situation; encouraging Law and giving him hope.

"Eustass-ya."

The whispered words seemed to float on the breeze, and Law felt as if Kid was sitting right beside him.

_'Please hear me.'_

"I love you."

_'From now till forever.'_

"We'll stay together forever. We'll never be apart again."

Law closed his arms around his chest, feeling the beat of Kid's heart as he gently embraced it.

No, it was his heart now. It was their heart, beating out a rhythm of two lives joined as one.

"I won't cry anymore."

Law smiled. It was the beautiful smile that Kid loved.

_'Yes, I'll live on.'_

"And I won't say goodbye."

_'Because you are living inside me. We will live together, and die together. Never separated again till death do us part.'_

Law stood, feeling like a newly reborn person.

Yes, this love would never go wrong.

This, the greatest love Law would ever have in his life.

~Fin.~

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Please leave a review or comment if you can. All of them will be translated and presented to the original author. (・ω・*)

**Childerika**: *hugs* Let's cry together! T_T

**MaskedAngel18**: Hope you liked the angst in this chapter. Was this the ending you anticipated?

**Satan-chan**: Thank you! Glad you like the story!


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